College is ending. Lets put this into perspective. I love college. The people I’ve met there are some of the most inspiring and lovely people I’ve ever come across. There have definitely been the ups and downs and the times where I’ve wanted to just move on with my life. But then I fell in love, and I began to look at everything and everyone differently, and I managed to break the cynical outlook that I had. I’ve forged friendships in the most unlikely of places, although there has been the occasional personality clash.

I’ll also revisit the goals I made for the start of the year and see how they have progressed (or not).

1. Stop Swearing. I called Josh the c-word today during a lesson. This hasn’t been achieved at all. I don’t think I’m as prolific with my swearing though, but I guess this was always a long shot.

2. Get my Left Anti-Tragus Pierced. I realised this may affect my ability to wear in-ear headphones. I plan to get this over the summer though, but whether that actually materialises is another matter.

3. Sing A Song For Somebody. The Fridays with Baldy got replaced with Fridays with Josh. We did revisit the piano room yesterday though and I sang half a chorus. There we go.

4. Not Buy Any Black Clothes. I am pretty sure this has been achieved, with the exception of one pair of jeans and two pairs of tights. But that’s hardly black in the sense of closet goth or whatever the reasoning behind this one.

5. Have A Ridiculously Messy Night. Aha, I have a boyfriend who doesn’t drink spirits and has done less stuff that I have. So I doubt this will happen on his watch.

6. Have an Amazing Christmas. I’m in Hong Kong over the summer and not Christmas break, which is disappointing. No reason why this can’t still be achieved but it certainly wasn’t as planned.

7. Redesign This Website. I’m going to switch to Tumblr soon, but I’m not sure what I’m doing on the creative front, if anything at all.

I’m having quite a few reflective moments for now. I’ll be revising a lot to try and salvage some good grades, to make up for the fact I’ve revised pretty much nothing. I’m not complacent, but I know that January’s results put me in good stead for getting AAA. The hardest part of college ending is ultimately, the lack of time being spent with Josh. The unfortunate part about dating someone of similar, if not identical, nerdy disposition to myself is that we don’t socialise with each other during exam season. I have an exam on his birthday, hence no socialising then. Then he leaves for Spain before my exams are even over. Then he comes back, we have maybe a week before he goes to Thailand for 3 weeks (missing my birthday). Then we have maybe two weeks before I leave for Hong Kong for three weeks. Then I come back, and less than a week I go to Sheffield Uni.

It’s ridiculously depressing, but “Amor Vincit Omnia.” Unfortunately I now believe love is more than just a chemical reaction, it’s the best feeling every etc. etc. and nice guys who aren’t shallow bastards actually exist.

Life is beautiful.

Wut, hello.

March is over, which was a goooood month. Been together with Josh for a month (it’s a start!), and incidentally we had our first proper “lunch date” (ie. not in the college canteen, his house or MCDONALDS as he loves to take me so much) which I find hilarious as it took us a month for us to actually go to town together. He meets the parents on Sunday, I hope it all goes down well…

Jenny turned eighteen so had an “alcoholic social gathering in her empty house” and in typical Jenny style there were tea rounds and fresh fruit :’) I’ve learnt never to take Apple Sourz to a party, gone within less than hour. Although 1/2 Sourz and 1/2 Bulmers is amazing, 1/2 Sourz and 1/2 Black Rat tasted of bacon mould, or something equally hideous. One thing I did not particularly approve of was the amount of non-alcoholic wine present, especially when I was in the whole ‘I’M TOTALLY NOT DRUNK GIMME ALCOHOL’ phase of the night, and mistakenly pour that instead of real wine. I then pour myself two glasses of alcoholic red wine, down, and lie on the floor slowly losing consciousness for at least half an hour. Oh and pouring Smirnoff into Smirnoff Ice is just brilliant. And it’s because of these antics that Josh and I have agreed never to attend the same alcoholic parties because I’d make a complete twat of myself by getting royally hammered, which he said would mean he would have to get hammered because he wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of me, thus leading us into some kind of a spiral where we’d probably just have a domestic (something we’ve yet to experience…yay!) and it all be ridiculous.

I like how we plan how to deal with situations before they occur. We’re so logical and organised. *Squee*

Oh and I find this hilarious, my Politics paper got remarked from 67% to 73% which was not epic at all, but considering I need a 70% average this year I now only need the former mark as apposed to the latter mark in my final paper. Except now all the Politics papers have been recalled by the exam board meaning it’s going for a REMARK OF A REMARK which means A THIRD PERSON will have to read my political drivel. I don’t know why I’m complaining I can’t get an A* - I did barely any work for that exam now than I think about it, I really hated the questions, tbh considering I came second in my year in that exam, I should just be thankful. Although, I have come second in Politics every time (ie. all three exams) so I would like to come first at some point Still won that feat in Economics in Jan I suppose. Can’t win them all.

Not much else. I’ve given up on this playlist shizzle, I’m sure no-one cares. Listening to a band called Making April and their amazing Grammy covers EP, especially the Paparazzi cover (although they are all really really good, his voice is just eargasmic). Oh, I don’t know.

Well lets write a post whilst I’m a flurry of interesting emotions.

My Exam Results Are Back and in a nutshell, the exams I expected to do well in I didn’t, and vice versa. I now have an A in AS Maths, after my C2 retake when from a 76 to a 97. (So scores are 81/97/81). Hooray! I then got 84 in C3 (should’ve done better…) and 77 in D1 (FFS, I hate D1!! It’s also my only B…) meaning I need 60 in C4 for an A (although I’m retaking C1 considering it’s the easiest exam AND the lowest of my Core modules…). Economics I got 95 which was not expected, I mean, I was pretty confident I got full marks for everything apart from my first essay, which I was convinced would come back a U (the essay I wrote was just…odd). Anyway, I’m sure that cost me the five UMS I lost…which I’m pretty sure was only 4 raw marks. Oh and Politics I got a 67. So I pretty much cried at that result, despite my ‘over-achievement’ in everything else. Still, my whole class managed to bomb (3 Us, 2 Cs, 1 B and the remainder Ds and Es) as did the chief examiner’s class, so basically it’s all going for a remark. It’s not the mark I’m that upset about (I need 73 in my next module for an A) more the fact that what I wrote sure as hell was not C grade standard. I’m convinced the examiner was a retard, who simply didn’t know what we were talking about. Whatever. I’m capable of an A* in Politics, and that’s whats shit about the grade as well, but I’m on target for one in Economics which was always the goal anyway.

I Got Rejected from LSE which was long overdue really. I wanted a rejection because I knew Sheffield was the place for me, but alas, an impromptu check of UCAS on the boyf’s iPod before he is about to leave for his lesson, and when he saw the Unsuccessful he said “Well…I’m not gonna go to History.” Instead we sort of mulled over the life plan, as I ended up pretty emotional about it. It wasn’t about the decision for me, more about the fact that they took five and half months about it, and I’ve not really been good enough for anything in my life. “So close, yet so far.” Although, the fact I have said boy is probably a sign my luck is changing, and even though it’s only really been two weeks, the fact that someone is there for me unconditionally and generally likes everything about me (except for the self-deprecation, which he plans to erase!) is sort of the glimmer of hope that is making my world right now. I was always going to firm Sheffield, but because my grades currently sit at A*AA, I could re-apply to SOAS next year, because the course is better than Sheffield’s. It was always the plan if I got AAA to re-apply next year, but I’m not really sure whether to stick with it. I suppose I’ve still got time to mull it over, I’ve done what needs to be done for now, I’ll reassess everything when I get my results.

There is a boy and he’s just amazing. We actually prevent each other from functioning in that we seem to be far too smitten and thus our productivity levels have completely dropped, however he’s made me the happiest I think I’ve ever been, which as Baldy says “is ironic, as now you’re more confident more guys will like you.” Aha, whatever. He’s just amazing, although our Economics lessons together are rather torturous considering self-restraint is not one of my strengths…

Can’t really think of that much else. Went to see my friends play at Louisiana and they were pretty ace. My friend’s eighteenth next Friday, I sorta need to get a lot of work done this week and then chillout a bit more. Whatever. Life is good.

Has now taken four out of five exams. It seems a bit pointless waiting a week to do the “lowdown” so here it is, minus the Economics exam to be taken next Friday.

I am currently, at this very second, being molested to buy a cheeseburger by Yves and Baldy, which is under Yves jumper and he’s stroking it in a rather seductive manner, they actually tried American-accented flirtacious talk in order to sell me it. It’s comical. I said no.

Edexcel Core Two.
Harder exam that I expected, but I was far more prepared than I was in June (missed out ten marks of trigonometry, haha). I only needed 2 extra UMS from last time (76 to 78) to get me an A in AS. Still missed out seven marks worth of questions. I’m pretty confident I got that, if not higher. I just wanted an A in AS Maths certificate to stick on my fridge.

Edexcel Decision One.
I did a lot of Solomon papers/old spec to prep for this exam, which shot my nerves right up. The actual exam was easy, except for the definitions. Is always great when your hardest question is ‘what is a tree.’ The grade boundaries are always beastly for D1 but I’m pretty sure I got an A of some description. Taught Baldy most of the syllabus before we went in and then made a bet with him that I did better, then realised we got all the same answers except he got the definitions and did more thorough working. I won’t pay him even if he does win.

Edexcel Core Three.
I have a feeling this will be my highest UMS score. It was hard exam, but I was fully prepared. I made a few stupid mistakes, but the minimum percentage I will get SHOULD be 80% which is more than enough for an A. So I was happy when I came out. Although I made some criminal mistakes which I want to beat myself up over. But if I could get an A at A-Level Maths…well…that proves there’s hope for anything.

OCR US Government & Politics.
I planned to retake this anyway, because I barely revised for it (C3 was on Wednesday PM, this was Friday AM) and I hadn’t written an essay in three months. I “wung it” (whatever the past tense for ‘winging it’ is)  as best as I could; but the questions weren’t the ones I wanted. I know Presidential Elections inside out and there wasn’t a question on it! I was gutted. For that reason alone I may retake. My essays weren’t as strong as my AS ones I don’t think, but then again I barely remember what I put. I need a 70% average this year. I think I may have earnt that, but I honestly don’t know.

Anyway, I have lots of Economic revision to do.