I actually wish someone would record half the things I say. As much trouble as it gets me into with the lack of a brain’s involvement in my speech - it makes great entertainment. Jenny has been collecting quotes from people for a while which reminded me how ‘hilarious’ I can be.
(In roughly chronological order)
“Does sex have a smell?” - someone claimed that they could smell sex, while we watching a film in English. The film was practically pornographic as well, graphic sex scene followed by a very bloody woman giving birth. Oh and for the record, the response to my question was “semen.”
“My iPod is broken, all it can do is play music.” - I’m sorry, but that was the truth. When I saw this quote, I assumed someone else said it. But then I remember the time when my iPod Touch was stuck on music mode and I couldn’t access anything else. Anyway, I don’t think this is remotely funny, because I wasn’t even trying to be.
“It’s the bird of doom!” - It was a paraphrase of the poem ‘The Darkling Thrush’ by Thomas Hardy. You can tell why English is my weakest subject.
“I’m tapping into my inner Tory!” - Probably the most shameful quote ever, I don’t actually remember saying this but it’s likely I said it when brainstorming essay plans during a revising for my politics exam. Don’t say you don’t have an inner Tory too.
There’s a few other which really don’t make sense, a few others that I really like that aren’t quite recorded:
“We can’t have them all sponging off the dole!” - said in a heavily Bristolian accent to my politics class, I was in Tory-mode clearly.
“If you’re a homophobe, we shoot you. If you’re racist or BNP we’ll shoot you. Let’s shoot all the fascists too. I’m leader of the clan. If I get killed, Alex takes over. If Alex gets killed, Jenna takes over. If Jenna gets killed…then we’re screwed.” - Alex and I are really trying to outline are own political philosophy. I really need to record more of Alex’s quotes, he’s far too funny.
I think I should consult more people than Jenny when trying to compile funny things I say. I really am funny, I promise you.
20/9/09 
