Two songs are getting stuck in my head like no other at the minute - ‘Hell’ by Tegan and Sara and ‘Lisztomania’ by Phoenix. The remix of the latter by Alex Metric is absolutely banging. It’s like MSTRKRFT with an injection of indie and a few extra layers of obscurity. Also, MSTRKRFT is apparently ‘dance-punk’ - what’s up with that? Chk Chk Chk are dance-punk, MSTRKRFT are electro-house. Tegan and Sara’s new album (Sainthood) is incredible, it’s been on repeat for the last few days and it’s got lovely vocal hooks, especially in Hell, the whole “I know you feel it too” chorus is infectiously winner (yes that’s a new Joannaism!). The whole album is quite catchy but not in an obvious way, occasionally I think I’m probably thinking it is just because I love their style so much. I’ve only just discovered MSTRKRFT’s ‘The Looks’ and I just wished I had listened to it instead of spending months addicted to ‘Does it Offend You Yeah?’ thinking that was the closest I could get to radio-friendly electro-house. For the record, the only “acceptable” DIOYY? songs are ‘Battle Royale’ and ‘Weird Science’, everything else was just reworked rejections of ‘nu wave’ marketed to obnoxious scenekids. And I bought Phoenix’s latest (Amadeus Wolfgang) on the day they were playing in Bristol. Stunning. Nothing much to say apart from it’s epic.

I was planning to write this post on Friday because I was in an extreme ‘angry-mode.’ I’m no longer angry, but I’ll attempt to explain things.

I now have four university offers. York, Sheffield, Exeter, Birmingham. This is ridiculous. It’s been less than a month since I submitted my application. But I am annoyed, for Exeter was my second favourite (after LSE, who I’ve yet to hear back from) and they gave me an AAA conditional offer. I specifically didn’t apply for universities (Oxbridge, Durham, SOAS etc.) which asked for AAA, on the basis that I probably won’t meet that and that LSE is the best place in the UK (if not, the world) for International Relations, and their standard offer is AAB. The problem is, I liked Exeter a lot when I visited it, both the campus and the city. I could really see myself living their for three years, and “home” is only a short train journey away. Now, it’s out of my reach. York was another possible first choice (AAB), but it’s risky as it’s some five hour drive/3.5 hour very expensive train journey. Not to mention the course never really striked me as being as good as the others (it was a last minute substitution instead of Manchester) and the concept of living in a ‘tiny town’ never really occured to me. Of course, if I get an AAB offer from LSE, 99.9% chance I’ll accept it as the course is the best by a long shot. But there isn’t a complacent bone in my body, I was always expecting to get rejected from LSE (although, I was also expecting rejections from York/Exeter too) and I honestly don’t think I stand much of chance. University with the most applicants per place in the UK (14:1). Little Joanna isn’t that special.

Also, David Nutt got fired. I don’t usually discuss things political on the blog but it’s bloody ridiculously. Not only do they reject drug expert’s advice on classification (such as increasing cannabis back up to B, not downgrading ecstasy etc.) they now fire people if they don’t think the same way as them. Cannabis is less harmful that alcohol and tobacco, that’s just science. The government make me sick.

My next blog post I’m going to post a remix mixtape or whatever you want to call it. I’m trying to keep it along the lines of ‘indie floorfillers’ and ‘obscurely mashed pop.’ It’ll be uncomfortable to listen to. Expect robotic noise house. I’m excited.

It’s time we all started thinking outside the box bitches.

“I should just let it go/’Til they learn how to grow/And how to liberate//Silence is easy/It just becomes me/You don’t even know me/Why lie about me?”

“Silence is Easy” by Starsailor. I really don’t need to explain…that’s One Tree Hill for you.

I’m leaving for an eight day venture on Monday on one of those ridiculously expensive “intensive driving courses.” At the minute, my head doesn’t really care about learning to drive. Essentially, I’m excited to take a “quiet break” from my life before college starts. I began packing today which made me realise how much of a superficial idiot I am - worrying about whether to pack straighteners or my hi-tech hair drier, fearing the possibility of having to survive on takeaways  and being miles away from a ridiculously large TV. Then I realised a bit of minimalism would do me good. I’m essentially spending over a week in the middle of nowhere, away from distractions of a city life I’m used to. So I’m packing plenty of books (I’m currently 27 pages into ‘Rebecca’ by Daphne Du Maurier and thoroughly impressed!) and my trusty Macbook, with the hope of completing a few assignments for college.

Speaking of college, AS results came out. I’m not overjoyed, but I’m not crying (unlike over GCSEs a year ago). Essentially, I could’ve done better but I got quite hard done by. Remarks and retakes are definitely on the cards. Anyway here’s the breakdown for the year.

Politics
Jan ‘09: Contemporary Politics of the UK  (85/100) (A)
June ‘09: Contemporary Government of the UK (95/100) (A)
Final Grade: (180/200) (A)

Verdict: Wasn’t quite expecting to do as well as I did, I worked far harder for the first exam AND found it a lot easier. I actually despised the second unit, it was one of the dullest modules I’ve ever had to endure in my life. Alas, I’m ecstatic with my 90% overall.

Economics
Jan ‘09: Markets & Market Failure  (88/100) (A)
June ‘09: The National Economy (73/100) (B)
Final Grade: (161/200) (A)

Verdict: “I only need 72% in this exam to get A.” That was essentially my motto for Economics, I really should’ve worked harder. Irritatingly, I loved Unit 2 as a module, but I knew I messed up the written half of the paper and wrote a god awful essay due to bad timing. My gut feeling is I got marked harshly, but can’t risk a remark as I’m so close to losing a grade. So that’s a retake there.

Critical Thinking

June ‘09: Introduction to Critical Thinking (85/100) (A)
June ‘09: Assessing and Developing Argument (72/100) (B)
Final Grade: (157/200) (B)

Verdict: The teaching for this subject was bad, so I couldn’t take is seriously. The first exam was a joke, and the second one was pretty solid. Alas, I’m annoyed I missed an A by 3 marks. Considering getting the first paper remarked just because I felt I liked that one more, but then again, I don’t really care about it that much.

Maths

Jan ‘09: Core Mathematics 1 (80/100)
June ‘09: Core Mathematics 1 (81/100) (A)
June ‘09: Core Mathematics 2 (76/100) (B)
June ‘09: Statistics 1 (81/100) (A)
Final Grade: (238/300) (B)

Verdict: I retook C1 after scraping an A in January…an hour and a half paper on the last day of exams…for one extra mark. I’m really disappointed actually, I’m determined that I did better in Statistics. Tripled checked the paper as well, that’s going for a remark for sure. Am epically pleased with C2 result though, the exam was “like beings severed through the head with a chainsaw.” Retaking that. 2 marks off an A…so so sad.

English Lit
Coursework: Creative Study (58/80) (B)
June ‘09: Victorian Paper (81/120) (C)
Final Grade: (139/200) (C)

Verdict: ONE FUDGING MARK OFF A B!! I was actually thrilled at this result, honestly expecting a U. My exam consisted of two arguments that had barbaric thesises, and the bulk of my “evidence” contradicting each of other before finally…not concluding because it was all shit. One exact sentence which sums up the depth of my analysis was “This poem contains a metaphor.” I wrote that as part of an AS level essay. I’ll retake. Plan to get a remark on coursework in search for that extra mark though…I had faith in that.

Urgh, the more I think about my grades the more I hate them. Well, it’s all done I suppose. Roll on next year, and the seven (!!) exams I’m taking in January. Remind me why I put myself through this again…pfft.

Well, I’m about half way through my summer break from college so this seems like a good time to check in. My birthday was a week ago, got a lot of really really nice swag from my friends and generally had an epic time seeing people I’d nearly lost contact with. Pictures are on my Flickr, I really need some kind of Flickr integration somewhere because I’m actually starting to use it again. I should probably add a nice, pretty footer.

I also passed my driving theory test at 8am on Saturday morning despite being epically tired and very very stressed! I got 96% for the multiple choice (86% being the pass mark) and 79% for the Hazard Perception (58% being a pass). Considering I was aiming to scrape I am pretty pleased with that.

One thing I’ve noticed recently about myself is that, I’m getting a little more stressed then I usually do. But it’s not work-related or anything like that, in fact, I have no idea where it’s coming from. I’m losing confidence, feeling anxious/panicky and not having the drive for things like I used to. Little things are keeping me positive but on the whole it’s all a bit…blargh. On the plus side though, there’s zero zero male drama. I was going down a very bad path and I’m glad I put my head first and saw my way out of tricky situations that I ended up in out of boredom.

Right, that’s a quick summary of my life. Hopefully I’ll have my driving licence at the end of the month. Can’t afford a car or insurance so it’s all a little bit pointless, it’s for the bragging rights really. I’m also planning to make a really really lovely electronica playlist sometime, because every summer I end up listening to ridiculous amounts of electropop and it’s good shit I’m telling you.

I think The Donnas picked a perfect time to released their Greatest Hits 16. Listening to some of their classic songs made me remember what it was like to be a fourteen-year-old boyhunter, experimenting with alcohol and giving the middle finger to anyone who thought they were better than me. In retrospect, not that much has changed.

College is finally out, and I’m back working the nine to five. I could never complain about my job (it’s ace), but I do complain about the price/duration/tardiness of the commute via public transport. Oh, and the fact I’ve been living off 65 pence pasties from Sainsbury’s to curb my recent overspending…

In terms of general life, it’s still full of…drama! Trouble is whenever there’s an absence of drama, I chase it. Everyone who knows me, knows I have to have a little bit of drama otherwise the world falls apart. Y’know, volcanoes erupt, tsunamis occur - that kinda thing. But every time I find it, drama comes from somewhere else and I end up taking on far more than I can handle and tying myself in knots.

Well…whatever. I spent some time re-evaluating the person I am versus the person I want to be. I threw myself into situations I really didn’t want to be in, got caught up, and got burnt. Well, first time round it made me upset for about a week. And then I got back out and did all over again. And now that’s ended badly too. It’s kind of weird, just because I was going head first into summer with a million possibilities and actually dating guys again, and now I’m just wondering when I let myself get so caught up. So I think I’m gonna settle down and have a quite summer: focus on work, studying, learning to drive and surrounding myself with good friends.

And the two lines to live by are “Girl you better go get your armour” (Battlefield, Jordin Sparks) and “This time baby, I’ll be bulletproof” (Bulletproof, La Roux).