Wut, hello.

March is over, which was a goooood month. Been together with Josh for a month (it’s a start!), and incidentally we had our first proper “lunch date” (ie. not in the college canteen, his house or MCDONALDS as he loves to take me so much) which I find hilarious as it took us a month for us to actually go to town together. He meets the parents on Sunday, I hope it all goes down well…

Jenny turned eighteen so had an “alcoholic social gathering in her empty house” and in typical Jenny style there were tea rounds and fresh fruit :’) I’ve learnt never to take Apple Sourz to a party, gone within less than hour. Although 1/2 Sourz and 1/2 Bulmers is amazing, 1/2 Sourz and 1/2 Black Rat tasted of bacon mould, or something equally hideous. One thing I did not particularly approve of was the amount of non-alcoholic wine present, especially when I was in the whole ‘I’M TOTALLY NOT DRUNK GIMME ALCOHOL’ phase of the night, and mistakenly pour that instead of real wine. I then pour myself two glasses of alcoholic red wine, down, and lie on the floor slowly losing consciousness for at least half an hour. Oh and pouring Smirnoff into Smirnoff Ice is just brilliant. And it’s because of these antics that Josh and I have agreed never to attend the same alcoholic parties because I’d make a complete twat of myself by getting royally hammered, which he said would mean he would have to get hammered because he wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of me, thus leading us into some kind of a spiral where we’d probably just have a domestic (something we’ve yet to experience…yay!) and it all be ridiculous.

I like how we plan how to deal with situations before they occur. We’re so logical and organised. *Squee*

Oh and I find this hilarious, my Politics paper got remarked from 67% to 73% which was not epic at all, but considering I need a 70% average this year I now only need the former mark as apposed to the latter mark in my final paper. Except now all the Politics papers have been recalled by the exam board meaning it’s going for a REMARK OF A REMARK which means A THIRD PERSON will have to read my political drivel. I don’t know why I’m complaining I can’t get an A* - I did barely any work for that exam now than I think about it, I really hated the questions, tbh considering I came second in my year in that exam, I should just be thankful. Although, I have come second in Politics every time (ie. all three exams) so I would like to come first at some point Still won that feat in Economics in Jan I suppose. Can’t win them all.

Not much else. I’ve given up on this playlist shizzle, I’m sure no-one cares. Listening to a band called Making April and their amazing Grammy covers EP, especially the Paparazzi cover (although they are all really really good, his voice is just eargasmic). Oh, I don’t know.

Well lets write a post whilst I’m a flurry of interesting emotions.

My Exam Results Are Back and in a nutshell, the exams I expected to do well in I didn’t, and vice versa. I now have an A in AS Maths, after my C2 retake when from a 76 to a 97. (So scores are 81/97/81). Hooray! I then got 84 in C3 (should’ve done better…) and 77 in D1 (FFS, I hate D1!! It’s also my only B…) meaning I need 60 in C4 for an A (although I’m retaking C1 considering it’s the easiest exam AND the lowest of my Core modules…). Economics I got 95 which was not expected, I mean, I was pretty confident I got full marks for everything apart from my first essay, which I was convinced would come back a U (the essay I wrote was just…odd). Anyway, I’m sure that cost me the five UMS I lost…which I’m pretty sure was only 4 raw marks. Oh and Politics I got a 67. So I pretty much cried at that result, despite my ‘over-achievement’ in everything else. Still, my whole class managed to bomb (3 Us, 2 Cs, 1 B and the remainder Ds and Es) as did the chief examiner’s class, so basically it’s all going for a remark. It’s not the mark I’m that upset about (I need 73 in my next module for an A) more the fact that what I wrote sure as hell was not C grade standard. I’m convinced the examiner was a retard, who simply didn’t know what we were talking about. Whatever. I’m capable of an A* in Politics, and that’s whats shit about the grade as well, but I’m on target for one in Economics which was always the goal anyway.

I Got Rejected from LSE which was long overdue really. I wanted a rejection because I knew Sheffield was the place for me, but alas, an impromptu check of UCAS on the boyf’s iPod before he is about to leave for his lesson, and when he saw the Unsuccessful he said “Well…I’m not gonna go to History.” Instead we sort of mulled over the life plan, as I ended up pretty emotional about it. It wasn’t about the decision for me, more about the fact that they took five and half months about it, and I’ve not really been good enough for anything in my life. “So close, yet so far.” Although, the fact I have said boy is probably a sign my luck is changing, and even though it’s only really been two weeks, the fact that someone is there for me unconditionally and generally likes everything about me (except for the self-deprecation, which he plans to erase!) is sort of the glimmer of hope that is making my world right now. I was always going to firm Sheffield, but because my grades currently sit at A*AA, I could re-apply to SOAS next year, because the course is better than Sheffield’s. It was always the plan if I got AAA to re-apply next year, but I’m not really sure whether to stick with it. I suppose I’ve still got time to mull it over, I’ve done what needs to be done for now, I’ll reassess everything when I get my results.

There is a boy and he’s just amazing. We actually prevent each other from functioning in that we seem to be far too smitten and thus our productivity levels have completely dropped, however he’s made me the happiest I think I’ve ever been, which as Baldy says “is ironic, as now you’re more confident more guys will like you.” Aha, whatever. He’s just amazing, although our Economics lessons together are rather torturous considering self-restraint is not one of my strengths…

Can’t really think of that much else. Went to see my friends play at Louisiana and they were pretty ace. My friend’s eighteenth next Friday, I sorta need to get a lot of work done this week and then chillout a bit more. Whatever. Life is good.

Here’s a summary of this last month:

Went to Washington DC and it snowed. A lot of things were closed, was a bit crazy. Loved the weather though and spent some time with amazinggg people, bought Juicy Couture and (lots of) Abercrombie & Fitch, and realised I am still far too poor for any more Betsey Johnson

Went to Sheffield University, pretty epiccc. Pretty much set on going there. It’s so indie it’s perfect. Too many bars, too many cheap drinks, epic accommodation, a PolSoc that goes to Amsterdam (messyyyy!) and a damn good department. They changed my offer too, so I really wanna firm it (but can’t…yet).

Also went up to York University. It was interesting, met a guy who lives literally like twenty minute drive away and was on my train and we had lunch. Met a posh boy who I got the vibe he felt I was unworthy talking to him, because I didn’t own half of Oxford. The university had a nice feel to it but on the whole, too dull. It’s not somewhere I could spent a fulfilling three years and the department isn’t particularly strong either.

Um, last few weeks I’ve kissed someone old and kissed someone new. I’m also not single anymore. Rejoice! Lets hope he works out and that he gets an offer from King’s College London to do Law, which he doesn’t even want to do anymore, but he still spends far too much time checking Ucas to the point I have to drag him away from WiFi areas :’)

Playlist is a-coming. And January exam results come on the 11th March, expect me to pretty much break down due to my Economics score (and probably all the others too, eep)

I think The Donnas picked a perfect time to released their Greatest Hits 16. Listening to some of their classic songs made me remember what it was like to be a fourteen-year-old boyhunter, experimenting with alcohol and giving the middle finger to anyone who thought they were better than me. In retrospect, not that much has changed.

College is finally out, and I’m back working the nine to five. I could never complain about my job (it’s ace), but I do complain about the price/duration/tardiness of the commute via public transport. Oh, and the fact I’ve been living off 65 pence pasties from Sainsbury’s to curb my recent overspending…

In terms of general life, it’s still full of…drama! Trouble is whenever there’s an absence of drama, I chase it. Everyone who knows me, knows I have to have a little bit of drama otherwise the world falls apart. Y’know, volcanoes erupt, tsunamis occur - that kinda thing. But every time I find it, drama comes from somewhere else and I end up taking on far more than I can handle and tying myself in knots.

Well…whatever. I spent some time re-evaluating the person I am versus the person I want to be. I threw myself into situations I really didn’t want to be in, got caught up, and got burnt. Well, first time round it made me upset for about a week. And then I got back out and did all over again. And now that’s ended badly too. It’s kind of weird, just because I was going head first into summer with a million possibilities and actually dating guys again, and now I’m just wondering when I let myself get so caught up. So I think I’m gonna settle down and have a quite summer: focus on work, studying, learning to drive and surrounding myself with good friends.

And the two lines to live by are “Girl you better go get your armour” (Battlefield, Jordin Sparks) and “This time baby, I’ll be bulletproof” (Bulletproof, La Roux).