Woo new year. WOOOOOOOOOOO. I woke up early this morning to break the RIDICULOUS 3am-12pm sleep pattern I’ve got going on. Spent the morning raiding the house for a working AA battery to put in my mouse (Logitech VX Revolution for the nerds…ooooh it’s a fiend). I tried at least TEN ones that were flat, going up and down stairs each time. New year, new problems. Hardy-hah.

So time to erase as much of last year from my mind. 2010 is going to be an amazing year for me, no question. January well be hell, slaving through exams and whatnot. I want As, damnit. It won’t happen. Decision is going to be my worst exam, I’m telling you. Prim, Kruskal, Dijsktra, Anonymous Chinese Postman…no. Just no.  Core 3 should go alright, as will Core 2 as long is there isn’t a question on circles. Politics should be the least of my worries, but I’m kinda going for an A*. Same with Economics. Oh and I’ve written half my English coursework in a day. Yeah. As long as it’s above a D I’m content.

Oh, look at me, rambling about my exams. Anyway as for future plans, I’m going to Washington DC in February which I would be excited about except (a) I’m not keen on flying for longer than about five hours; and (b) the whole failed terrorist attack means extra security which means I’m at odds to whether an SLR will get seized. Then to York and Sheffield Universities. LSE will also have to reply to my application this year; I’ll admit, it will be an inconvenience if I get rejected because I’d have to send begging letters to Sheffield asking for a very late course change.

And basically, in ten months time I’m either going to be starting at university OR on the best gap year of my life. Plan is, full-time work for about four months, Open University introductory social science course, summer in Hong Kong University, reading IR course texts, language classes (either French or Mandarin) and remember how to do graphics design. It’s irritating that with the next government coming this year (and the sad truth is, we all know who the PM will be) tuition fees will rise, which makes me reluctant to defer my university entry if I do get an offer. C’est la vie. I may just suck it up and be in the extra debt, I suppose a year to remember would be worth it.

So I don’t do this “resolution” thing. Well I’m lying, I do. I have some great ones from when I was a hyperactive 14-year-old feminist; “no more insensitive lying fuckwits who are so effeminate yet vulgar…” I forget the rest but OH MY GOD I WAS SO HILARIOUS. Yeah well, this is a “to-do” list almost.

1. Stop Swearing. Or at least cut back. I will regret this. I think I should stop using the c-word though, I have got into trouble for that. To me, it will always be “just a word” and the greatest insult to mutter under your breath. Alas, I have an icky personality I should shake off.

2. Get my Left Anti-Tragus Pierced. I regret not getting this sooner actually, because the longer I’ve waited the more scared I am. Just pinching my anti-tragus hurts like a bitch. But I will get it, I will SCREAM in pain and not be able to sleep on my left side for a year, but it’ll be worth it as it will look sweet  with my 14G (1.6mm yeah, I’m THAT hardcore) lobe piercing.

3. Sing A Song For Somebody. I’ve written about my Friday afternoons in the piano room, and how it has inspired me to sing again. But confidence is something which will take most of the year to gain. I will do it eventually though. Hopefully to someone who never has to see me again!

4. Not Buy Any Black Clothes. Because getting called a closet goth kinda sucks, even in jest. I did have the phase though, oh didn’t we all - copious black liquid eyeliner, Murderdolls & Emily strange t-shirt and battered black Converse (because my parents would disown me if I ever wore New Rocks). But a lot of my clothes are really plain as well, because I’m not confident to be crazy. We’ll see how this one turns out.

5. Have A Ridiculously Messy Night. Because I haven’t had one in a loooooong time And I don’t just mean half a bottle of vodka or whatever I mean getting MESSED. You know what I mean. I’ll just avoid the Class As.

6. Have an Amazing Christmas. The plan is to be in Hong Kong next Christmas which I’m SUPER excited about because I love HK and also because they don’t really celebrate Christmas, which means you avoid all the pallavah you get in this country with Boxing Day sales/endless bank holidays etc. I’m not a very festive person so that does me good. It would be my first Christmas abroad if it happens which would be lovely.

7. Redesign This Website. The domain expires in September and I have no plans to renew it. I’ll make something bigger and better. It’ll probably take a summer or so, because I’ve forgotten how to code/use Photoshop but I will try and invest as much time as I possibly can. I’m doing a bit of photomanipulation here and there so we’ll see what comes of this over the summer.

All right, well, I should retreat back into Coursework/Revision land. And I don’t plan to blog for a while, I became all prolific over Christmas holidays but that’s over now. I NEED to avoid failure in these exams, I know I can do it, I just need confidence and LOTS MORE READING. I’m also reading “An Open World: The Truth About Globalisation” by Phillipe LeGrain, which is a bit dated I must admit but I am truly fascinated by the globalisation debate and IR theory (I do plan to study it for at least three years) AND it’s helping me with my Economics/Politics revision (when words like ‘deregulation’ and ‘Ralph Nader’ come up I smile, what a nerd).

So considering reading has been my solitude for a while (influenced by a few incredible people who continue to inspire me day in day out)  and I’m generally trying to get my predicted grades this year I’ve been doing a fair amount of reading. I rarely read books in their entirety, I usually dip in and dip out, particularly with exams coming up I like to surround myself with only “relevant” information. I’m a nightmare for my English Literature teacher. The below is post-summer 2009.

Books I Have Read in Their Entirety

A Streetcar Named Desire, Williams.
I probably should read more “modern” plays considering the last three I’ve read have all effected me in some way, the other two being the “socialist” An Inspector Calls by Priestly and the “feminist” A Doll’s House by Ibsen - I’ll confess I’m generalising horribly. I grew an emotional attachment to Blanche DuBois through her distortion of truth, erratic and unsettling personality and her manipulation of sexuality. She could be very empowering in specific parts, but I curse Williams for how he ended it. The 1951 film adaptation is breathtaking but loses so much of the subtle symbolism and sensuality that is littered in the screenplay.

US Government & Politics 2008 Election, Bennett
I freely admit to not paying enough attention to the election last year, but I knew the world would be doomed if Hillary Clinton won the Democratic nomination and even more doomed if Sarah Palin became the veep. Politics is one of my least entertaining syllabuses (although I’m glad to be shot of British Politics which I swear was the bane of my life) but I am such a theorist at heart and I find psephology fascinating. It was an enjoyable read and really got me to grips with primary/election processes and who won what and why without drowning me in statistics.

Books I am Currently Reading (And May or May Not Complete)

The Undercover Economist, Harford
I am ashamed to say I’ve never read this book in it’s entirety despite saying that if I became a millionaire, I would buy a copy for this book to as many people as I could. I first started reading it when I was fifteen or so and it’s just magical - it genuinely changes the way you think. The first few chapters are pretty much “AS Economics for Dummies” and I’ve read these more times than I can count but I’ve yet to read the final few chapters (which is even more shameful as one of them is on globalisation!) Anyway, I will finish this book eventually and probably read it as many times as I need to memorise the whole thing word for word.

The Logic of Life, Harford
I need to buy this book before I can finish it, but I’ve read the first chapter and it was one of the most entertaining chapters of any book I’ve ever read. I won’t spoil you by telling you what it is about, but I think if you are bothering to read this you should seriously consider going to a book shop picking it up (in the economics/business section of course) and reading the first chapter. I bet you won’t be able to put it down, and I bet you’ll want to tell someone what you’ve just read. The accompanying commentary from Tim at the LSE is worth listening to as well.

The Globalisation of World Politics, Baylis, Smith and Owens.
It’s looking increasingly likely I’m going to undertake an International Relations degree next year and I bought this mammoth of a textbook from the Borders sale in Bristol (where my friend, who is actually male, managed to spend twice as much as me). It’s big with tiny writing, so I’ve only just got through the introduction outlining the theories of IR and globalisation but I’m genuinely enthused by it. I don’t plan start thoroughly reading it until after exams in June but it’s far more interesting then anything I’m “meant” to be reading so it’ll be probably get finished well before.

What Does China Think, Leonard.
Leonard’s “Why Europe Will Run the 21st Century” is one of the reasons I’m choosing to study IR and he really crammed a lot into such a short book. Though I’m not too far into the current book, I’ll admit it’s not gripping me quite as much as the Europe one did, but it’s probably because I’m not as fluent in Chinese politics as I should be. I’ve always been interested in it (my heritage dictates it) but I plan to brief myself on the basics before I delve into this book again.

A World’s Wife, Duffy,
Carol Ann Duffy at GCSE level was a bore, but that’s because her best poetry is too risque for most teenagers. Alas, A World’s Wife is near enough “feminism in a bottle.” Mrs Icarus is my favourite so far, but short, sweet poems are always the most enjoyable I find. Frau Freud is hilarious (best line “I’m as au fait with Hunt-the-Salami as Ms. M Lewinsky”) and The Devil’s Wife was simultaneously chilling and brilliant.

Rebecca, Du Maurier.
I haven’t read a decent novel in about three years (as I found Wuthering Heights and Master Georgie shit). I started Rebecca and found it brilliant, but only got through a quarter of it before the rest of my schoolwork caught up to me. I now know how it ends, and have analysed the techniques (in a purely “English Lit” way) and it’s remarkable so hopefully I will get round to reading it.

Poetry of W.B Yeats
Yeats is amazing. I’ve read the Byzantium poems, The Wild Swans at Coole and He Wishes at the Cloths of Heaven. The last two I read whilst listening to a Mogwai album and it felt like a moment of perfection. Beautiful poetry + beautiful music. “Tread softly because you tread on my dreams” is probably going to be inked somewhere inconspicuous on my body.

I think that’s it, apart from really dull Business Economics/US Politics textbooks that are going to help me pass my exams. Knowledge is fun but I really need to read more.